


Good friends

by obwjam



Category: The Andy Griffith Show
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:49:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28295577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obwjam/pseuds/obwjam
Summary: Barney Fife has a pretty good idea of who he is and what he wants. Andy Taylor doesn't. But they're determined to be together -- to make something work -- no matter how difficult it might be.
Relationships: Barney Fife/Andy Taylor
Comments: 5
Kudos: 5





	1. Prologue: Moments

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short collection of instances in time that remain important.

Barney knew something was wrong the day he turned thirteen.

It was the magic birthday. The day, as he knew it, where boys become men. In his young mind, he thought he would grow six inches overnight, put on some muscle and start to grow a mustache just like his dad. The kids always teased him. They were all taller, faster, stronger. They called him waterboy, even though he actively avoided the football field. There was this boy there. The only kid who didn’t tease him. Didn’t  _ look _ at him, really, but Barney was okay with that because when they looked at each his heart rate picked up and his stomach felt sick. What an unnatural reaction, he thought, when looking at somebody else. But his father had told him that he was going to start feeling that way soon, when he looked at girls. In fact, on the eve of his birthday his father had given him a long, strange lecture that proved to be rather uneducational to Barney. It left him feeling more uncomfortable than enlightened, but he figured this was just how it was supposed to feel. He was still twelve, after all. Once he turned thirteen, it would all make sense.

But it didn’t. Because he woke up the next day, got dressed up real nice for school, ran into that boy from the football field and panicked. He was frozen.

“Hi Barney,” he said quietly. He was a quiet kid.

Barney’s lips felt like they were sewn shut. Why was this happening?

“O-oh. Uhm. H-hi, Andy.”

“I like your tie.”

Barney blushed furiously. “T-thanks.”

“Happy birthday, by the way.”

Barney didn’t move, even when the school bell rang and all the kids ran inside.

* * *

His father wasn’t happy.

He didn’t like what his son was implying, but he gave him the benefit of the doubt because Barney was prone to exaggeration. He’s just shy, is all. Nervous. He’s only been thirteen for a day. He’ll straighten out.

Barney wasn’t stupid. He could tell his father was upset. That was all the evidence he needed that this -- whatever this was -- wasn’t normal. He had waited for years to finally become a teenager. He thought he would finally start to think like all the other boys, who pined over girls and talked about how pretty they looked in their dresses. But the feeling he got when he looked at Andy, however sickening, was addicting. He never wanted it to stop.

It was a good revelation to come to at a young age. He was able to keep it to himself. 

* * *

“Hey there! You! You got a hall pass?”

There were few things in life Barney took more seriously than being Hall Monitor. He kept his chest puffed, clenching his fists to stop his nervous shaking.

“Why, yes sir, I do,” said Andy, coyly pulling the laminated pass from his pant pocket. “You know I wouldn’t go anywhere without it.”

“Good, good,” Barney said. He relaxed his shoulders and tried to hide the small smile on his lips. He snatched the hall pass from a smirking Andy, humming as he turned it over in his hands. “Yep. This checks out. You may proceed.”

“Thank you kindly,” Andy drawled, gently taking the pass back. For the briefest of moments, their fingers brushed. They locked eyes. Andy smiled, and walked away. Barney didn’t move.

* * *

“Gee, Andy, I--I don’t know what to say--”

“You don’t gotta say nothin’,” Andy said dismissively. “We’re partners now.”

Barney almost collapsed. “Uh-- we’re-- what?”

“Partners!” Andy said with all the naivete of a five year old. “Sheriff, and deputy.”

“Oh.” Barney squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and let out a shaky breath before slapping on a smile. “That’s right! Yeah! Sheriff and deputy!” He strode over to Andy and slung an arm around his shoulder. “Sheriff Taylor and Deputy Fife! The best darn police force this town has ever seen!”  
  
Andy laughed, patting Barney on the back and gently taking his arm off. “Sure, Barn. If that’s what we’re callin’ ourselves.”

“I--I won’t letcha down, Andy, I promise,” Barney stammered as Andy walked away. “I can’t thank you enough for this.”

Andy shrugged as leaned back on his desk. “It’s nothin’.”

Barney couldn’t stop himself. “I mean it! You looked over all the candidates, judged all their qualifications and characters and abilities, and-- and I just wanna do good on this job! Even if it’s just deliverin’ messages or handing out parking tickets--”

“You were quite the hall monitor back in the day, you know,” Andy mused. “Never let a kid pass without that silly piece of paper. I think you’ll do juuust fine.”

Barney swallowed.

“Well, this paperwork ain’t gonna do itself, now is it?” 

“N-no, I suppose not,” Barney practically whispered. He could only stand and watch.

* * *

It was getting harder to hide it now. 

Sometimes it was a passing glance, sometimes it was a smile. Maybe their arms touched for a brief moment when they brushed past each other, and Barney’s heart would flutter and Andy had to turn his head down to hide his blushing cheeks. They both thought they were very sly.

“Why do you always come home smiling, pa?”

“Huh?” Andy put his keys down on the side table. He didn’t realize he was laughing to himself.

“You have been in an awfully good mood lately, Andy,” Bee chimed in from the dinner table that was just about set.

“Oh, well, I suppose I just really enjoy bein’ the Sheriff.”

“I thought jobs were suppose’ta be boring,” Opie questioned. “That’s what everyone in school says.”

“Well, some jobs can be boring. But mine isn’t. I like the responsibility.”

“What about Barney?”

Andy paused for the slightest moment. “What about Barney?”

“It must be fun bein’ at work with your friend!”

“Oh, it’s a barrel of fun,” Andy said, scooping Opie up. “He sure keeps things entertaining. It was mighty quiet there before he showed up.”

Bee, who had just come from the kitchen carrying a plate full of pot roast, raised her eyebrow. 

“Dinner, you two,” she called. As she set the plate down, she took a long look at Andy. His smile, however subtle, still hadn’t faded. 


	2. The schoolboy

For Barney, he knew exactly where it had started.

Mayberry Elementary, September 5th. The first day of school. As a newly-minted fifth grader, Barney and his fellow classmates would be given the gracious honor of picking their own desks to start the year. All the boys in class flocked to sit next to the girl they found the prettiest. Barney went straight to Andy.

Luckily, Andy never shooed him away. But he didn’t warmly welcome him, either. He mostly sat there, shifty-eyed and stoic. A fair number of girls had wanted to sit next to Andy, but Barney beat them all to it. Ten-year-old Andy wasn’t sure how that made him feel.

“Hiya, Andy,” Barney said, nervous eyes darting from left to right. 

“Hi Barney,” Andy practically whispered. He could feel Anita staring at him from across the room.

“Didja have a good summer?”

Andy nodded.

“I did too. Didn’t do much, but I like it that way.”

Andy didn’t say anything.

“Hey, Andy?”

A head tilt.

“We’re… friends, right?”

Andy looked surprised. “Yeah, Barney. We’re friends.”

It’s one of those events that sticks out in Barney’s mind; his mind that takes turning points of his life and tucks them away neatly into filing cabinets, ready to be re-lived at his convenience. The tiny little Barney in his mind normally took pleasure in exaggerating situations, but events in the filing cabinet stated perfect and pristine. They dare not be tampered with. He remembered what he was wearing. He remembered squeezing his new eraser like a stress ball. He remembered Andy smelling a bit like old lady, but mostly like citrus and vanilla. 

Barney was doing a lot of re-living lately, especially anytime he broke into an orange. All this new time he was spending with Andy was scary. He was afraid he would slip at any given moment. He was afraid to tip his hand. He was in it for the long haul, though the Barney in his mind insisted he instead meant long shot. 

He was a week into this job and he felt he had already blown it. He hadn’t arrested a single criminal yet, nor had he even gotten the chance to write up a measly parking ticket. Not even a jaywalker dare make himself known. Barney kept boasting at how good of a law enforcement officer he was that nobody would commit a crime with him around. Subconscious Barney was already starting to form a backup plan.

Yet, Andy didn’t care. He seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of discussing the simplicities of life with Barney while in the office. Andy was laughing at his jokes because Andy laughed at  _ everything _ . That’s just how he was. Ever sweet, ever gentle Andy. He didn’t even have a gun! But Andy just didn’t understand the importance of defending yourself. He saw the good in everyone. Barney didn’t. He carried his gun on him at all times; after all, it was the last thing standing between him and death. He just wished Andy had let him carry more than one bullet.

Barney was eager to do anything Andy said. It was what he  _ didn’t _ say that often scared him.

“Hey Ange?” 

“Hm?” Andy didn’t lift his eyes from the newspaper.

“Is there, uh… is there anythin’ you want me to do?”

Andy thought for a moment. “Naw.”

Barney frowned. “I, uh. I could check the ol’ record books again!”

Andy shook his head.

“What about cleanin’ the ol’ rifle stache? They haven’t been used in quite a while.”

“That’s alright, Barn.”

Barney turned his head down to blush. He loved it when Andy called him Barn.

“Well, I suppose if there ain’t anything to do…” 

Suddenly, an idea. 

“I’m gonna go patrol the streets! See if I can catch anyone in the middle of a nefarious act!”

Barney’s grin widened when he saw Andy smirk. “Sure, Barn. That’s a great idea.”

“Great!” Barney practically leaped into the air. Finally, he could be useful. He jogged toward the doors, trying to look more athletic than he was. He tapped all parts of his body -- notebook, check. Pen, check. Gun, check. Bullet, check-- 

Bullet. Singular. He pressed his hand into his breast pocket in slight dismay.

“Andy?”

This time, Andy looked up. Barney swallowed.

“N-nothin’. Never mind!” He quickly pulled open the door. “I’ll be back soon!”

“Have fun now,” Andy called out cheekily, throwing his feet up on the desk and turning back to his paper.

Barney took a deep breath of fresh air before resting his hands on his hips.  _ This is it, Barney. This is your chance to impress Andy. Show him what you’re capable of! The criminals of Mayberry will be no match for Deputy Barney Fife. _

Barney began his journey by casually striding down the street, hands in pockets and lips whistling a sweet tune. Surely nobody would think such an innocent-looking man was actually on the hunt for wrongdoing. Sometimes he forgot he wore a police uniform all day.

_ Nothing _ , he scoffed to himself.  _ Noooobody’s actin’ strange. Hm. Ain’t that strange? _

He was passing Floyd’s when he heard a shout and the sound of shattering glass.

_ Floyd’s in trouble!  _ Barney screamed in his head.  _ I gotta help! _

Barney burst through the doors, nearly knocking the silver bell off its hook.

“ALRIGHT, NOBODY MOVE!” Barney shouted, pulling his pistol from his side. “DEPUTY BARNEY FIFE, MAYBERRY SHERIFF’S OFFICE! HANDS UP, ALL OF YOU!”

“Barney!” Floyd meekly cried from the corner.

“Floyd! Are you okay? Where’s-- where are they?”

Floyd tilted his head. “Where are who?”

“The criminals! The men who just broke into your shop! They’re comin’ with me!”

“Someone broke in?” Floyd gasped.

“Well yeah! I heard a scream, glass breaking--”

“Watch your step!” Floyd cut him off. “There’s glass all over the floor. I dropped the jar where I keep all my combs.” 

Barney looked down in horror. There were several black combs at his feet.

“Oh, those poor combs,” Floyd pouted. “I’ll have to wash them real good now.” 

Barney’s legs felt like they were made of jelly.

“What’s going on now?” Floyd asked again. “There’s robbers on the loose?”

Barney sighed. “I’ll see ya later, Floyd.”

Floyd waved as Barney sulked toward the door. “I hope you catch ‘em!” 

Barney huffed his way down the sidewalk.  _ How embarrassing,  _ he thought.  _ It was just that clumsy oaf droppin’ his comb jar! I don’t ever wanna see another comb as long as I live. _

His mind was racing. He had to put that embarrassment behind him, because if he dwelled on it for too long, Andy would surely notice. Barney couldn’t -- no, he  _ wouldn’t _ \-- give Andy any reason to doubt him. 

So his search continued. He ran into Helen, the town’s new schoolteacher; Ellie, who worked at the drugstore; Gomer from the mechanic's; Aunt Bee, hustling her way to the deli for the fresh cuts of meat. But no trouble. No crime. Nothing.

Barney found refuge on a park bench. He needed a break from all the running and talking. He leaned back and tilted his head toward the bright blue sky. How lucky, he thought, that Mayberry was such a beautiful place to live. The fullness of the grass. The deep green of the trees. The way his breaths seem to synchronize with the breeze picking up and fading. The shimmering lake, not too far from here. It was the perfect place for a picnic, or a hike. Or perhaps a fishing trip.  _ Andy’s mighty good at fishin’ _ .

Barney’s trance was broken by the sound of shouting. “Great,” he mumbled. “Another comb jar?” Nonetheless, it was his duty to investigate what was going on. And unlike last time, the shouting wasn’t stopping.

Barney was able to discern that the sound was coming from the nearby field.  _ Good job, Barn! _ He grabbed his hat as he shot up from the bench, running as fast as he could down the road that soon transitioned to dirt.  _ I’ll show ‘em. I’ll show ‘em real good just how great of a deputy I am! _ The dirt kicked up behind him as the hollers grew louder.

A flash of red. Red  _ hair _ . Opie!

“OPIE!” Barney yelled, charging full speed through the tall weeds. When he finally reached the source of the yells, Barney was confused to see Opie and three other boys his age, clothes dirty and hair speckled with dry grass.

“Hi Barney!” Opie called cheerfully upon seeing his pa’s friend. 

“Opie, what in the world is goin’ on here?!”

“We’re just playin’!” one of the other boys piped up from his spot on the ground. Next to him was a child-sized football.

“Football…?”  _ No, no. That can’t be it!  _ “Then what’s with all the shoutin’?”

“Aint’cha ever been to a football game, mister?” another boy with sandy blond hair asked. 

Barney’s face scrunched up. “Have I ever been to a -- of course I’ve been to a football game!” 

“They’re awfully loud,” Opie said. 

“We was just tryin’ to make it seem real as possible, sir,” another boy said.

Barney couldn’t believe it.  _ Two _ false alarms.  _ Two! _ No. There  _ had _ to be something. He couldn’t tell Andy he was looking for crime and then come back with no report! 

A lightbulb went off.

“So who organized this little get together, huh?” Barney asked slyly.

“I did!” Opie smiled.

“Well, Ope, I’m sorry, but you’re comin’ with me.”

Opie tilted his head. “How come?”

“I’m afraid I have to bring you in for trespassing’ and disturbin’ the peace.”

“Bring me in?” Opie questioned, but Barney had taken ahold of his arm.

“You boys better run along home now,” Barney said sternly. “Before your parents come lookin’ for ya.”

Opie’s friends quickly ran off, confused.

“What did I do?” Opie asked, looking up at Barney as they fast-walked down the street.

“You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court-o-law!” Barney exclaimed. He had been waiting to use that one.

“Gee, pa ain’t gonna be happy,” Opie muttered. Barney didn’t hear.

Barney marched Opie right up to the door, fumbling with the handle for a few seconds before finally pushing the door open.

Andy perked up. “Hi Barn!” He didn’t seem to notice the stern look on his friend’s face. “Oh, Opie! What might you be doing here?”

“Barney’s bringin’ me in!”

Andy raised an eyebrow. “Barney, what’s he talkin’ about?”

“Well, I’m sorry, Andy, but I had to arrest him.”

Andy blinked. “What?”

“Him and his friends were trespassing’ in the ol’ wheat fields about half a mile out, and he was disturbin’ the peace with all his yellin’!”

“Barney, you can’t be serious! You can’t arrest a six-year-old!”

“A law’s a law! Now Andy, I understand he’s your son and all, which I think gives you an unfair bias in this case, but--”

“Now, that’s enough, Barney, that’s enough!” Andy stood up, and Barney shrunk back. “What’s gotten into you? Arrestin’ a youngin’ like Opie who was just playin’ with friends?”

“Football, pa,” Opie chimed in. “And we was gonna win, too.”

“Well…” Barney mumbled. “Well, I said I’d go out and hunt for crime, and I found some! It’s my duty to keep the peace!”

By now, Opie had migrated over to Andy, staring at Barney with delight and curiosity. Andy wrapped his arm around Opie’s shoulders and squeezed him in a makeshift hug.

“And you really think this is the best way to do that? Is Mayberry a safer place without Opie roamin’ the streets?”

Barney’s mind was a complete and utter blank. Not even subconscious Barney knew what to say.

“Well, gee, Ange, I didn’t think about it that way.”

“I reckon you weren’t doin’ much thinkin’ at all,” Andy replied, too nice to be hurtful but too stern to be playful. “Ope, why don’tcha go home and see if Aunt Bee needs help cookin’ dinner.”

“Okay, pa,” Opie agreed. He turned and gave Barney a hearty “Bye, Barney!” before leaving, seemingly letting Barney off the hook for his gaffe.

“You’re lucky Ope thinks you was just messin’ with him,” Andy said. “‘Cause you coulda caused some real trouble, you know that?”

Barney shuffled his feet. He was trying to pretend that this wasn’t happening right now.

“...but I didn’t, didn’t I?”

Andy couldn’t hide his snicker. “No, you didn’t. But that don’t mean that next time you won’t.”

“Right,” Barney nodded.  _ Wait. What? _

Andy glanced at Barney, who was tapping his fingers on the railing like he was playing a concerto. He let out a heavy sigh.

“Look, Barn, I know you’re nervous--”

“I ain’t nervous!” Barney cried.

“It’s alright, Barney. I’m ain’t mad or nothin’.”

Barney paused. “You’re not?”

“Naw, naw.” Andy stood up. Barney tensed. 

“I was jumpy on my first week too, you know. I took this job over for ol’ Mr. Miller. Tough son of a gun, he was. All about the law. Credited himself for keepin’ Mayberry as safe as it was. I wanted him to know that I was just as qualified to be sheriff as he was.”

“...So? Whad’ja do about it?!”

Andy broke into a wide grin. “Well, I didn’t try and arrest a first grader, that’s for sure.”

“Oh, that’s very funny, Andy. Might as well put a flower on your lapel an’ start squirtin’ water out of it!”

Andy was laughing now. “All I’m sayin’ is, don’t go worryin’ about how many arrests you make or how many parkin’ tickets you hand out. You don’t gotta prove anythin’ to me. I’d have never asked you to be my deputy if I didn’t think you could handle it.”

Barney’s cheeks were burning red. He practically gawked at Andy as he approached Barney.

“Besides, Barn.” Andy’s hand clasped Barney’s boney shoulder, and Barney just about melted. “You’re my best friend. Why, we’ve known each other since we was Opie’s age! When two fellas know each other for that long, well…”

“...there’s a bond,” Barney finished, almost breathless. His eyes met Andy’s a few inches above, and it sucked the air right back out of him. “A… a bond you just can’t shake, no matter what.”

Andy smiled. That’s all he needed to do. It said more than words ever could. That smile that could turn the coldest of days warm, that smile that could wipe the thoughts clean from Barney’s mind. Andy’s smile sent Barney somewhere he couldn’t quite identify yet, but he knew it was a place he never wanted to leave. 

They stared, and stared, and stared. Then Andy cleared his throat.

“Well, uh, I suppose I should finish up organizin’ the bulletin board over there--”

“--And I--I should go brush up on my codes of law--”

The two darted to opposite sides of the room, neither daring to steal a glance back. Barney mindlessly flipped through the code book. 

He began to wonder if this would be one of those life events worthy of the filing cabinet.


	3. The pretty boy

For Andy, he still wasn’t quite sure.

He remembered things intermittently. For all his attributes, he didn’t have the greatest memory, especially when it came to childhood. He was more of a feeler than a thinker -- he could smell the scent of lilies and be transported back to a nondescript time in his early youth when he played hide and seek in the fields. He couldn’t remember what year or what time of day or with whom, but one whiff would remind him that it had happened. Any time Aunt Bee baked banana bread, Andy felt the same excited feeling he used to get when his mother baked it. The taste of watermelon brought him back to the Mayberry summers of old, running through sprinklers and playing stickball in the streets and having to cool his feet off in the grass when it got too hot. 

And yet, the one thing he seemed to remember with any degree of consistency was Barney.

He remembered that first day of fifth grade. He felt confused. He remembered Barney’s 13th birthday when he wore a suit to school. He felt happy. He remembered the days in high school when he would tease Barney about his hall pass. He felt exhilarated. 

And now? He felt downright giddy. 

But it wasn’t right.

Andy once had a wife. They had a kid together. He was supposed to leave this town and start this thrilling adventure with a son and a young, beautiful woman. His love. His life. His everything. 

Except she wasn’t everything. She was barely anything. Andy assumed he knew how it was supposed to feel. He thought that eventually, he would get there with her. It never happened. She would ask things of him that he just couldn’t do. He grew miserable and distant, picking out all her flaws and shoving them back in her face. She couldn’t take it. She didn’t care about the optics of divorcing her husband so soon after marrying him. She didn’t care that she had a son. Because when Andy tried to confide in her, this woman he thought he knew so well, it turns out he really didn’t know her at all.

Andy felt sick to his stomach that day. Opie wasn’t more than a year old when it became certain he would never see his mother again. Just his luck that Opie never stopped asking questions.

Andy didn’t think there was anything wrong with him. He was the football star, the class president. He was the one who got the girl. He loved it, or so he thought he did. That was where his memory failed him again. Hurling the winning pass and having the cheer captain jump into his arms was one of those things that should be accompanied with feelings of elation. Instead, he remembered disappointment, which couldn’t have possibly been right. It checked all the boxes. No. He felt downright  _ gleeful  _ about it.

In some ways, Andy was still trying to recover from high school. He wanted nothing more than to get out, and now he couldn’t even imagine a life outside the safety gates of Mayberry. Out there in the cold world, nobody understood each other. Nobody cared to. In Mayberry, everyone looked out for each other. Everyone wanted to help.

Andy had gone back and forth about asking Barney to be his deputy. He knew Barney hadn’t ever left town, and Andy told himself he didn’t want his offer to sound pitying. 

“Why, Andy, I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

Aunt Bee was scooping forkfuls of salad onto her plate. One of those new fad health trips she was on.

“Aunt Bee, you hardly know him,” Andy protested, though he wasn’t sure why. “He can be a little… excitable.”

“Oh, I remember Barney Fife. Your mother used to tell me all about when you two would spend hours together back in kindergarten.”

Andy swallowed his pork chop a little too quickly. “She did now, did she?”

“Oh yes. You two were inseparable.”

Andy coughed. “I don’t hardly remember that.”

Aunt Bee gave him a quizzical look. Andy shoved another bit of pork into his mouth.

“Are there any other candidates?” Bee asked innocently.

Andy shrugged. “Gomer swung by and asked if his cousin would be a good fit. I told him no.”

“Oh, that’s too bad. Gomer didn’t want to do it?”

Andy shook his head. “Likes his job just fine at the mechanic’s, I reckon.”

“What about that young man who moved to town not too long ago… Warren Ferguson?”

Andy nearly choked. “Never in a million years.”

“What made you decide on Barney, then?”

“I haven’t decided yet!” Andy said forcefully, causing Opie to look up from his plate. Andy took a breath. “What I meant to say is, I’m just trying to weigh all my options.”

“Sounds to me like you’ve already made up your mind,” Bee said passively. “After all, you’re the one who brought it up.”

“I like Barney,” Opie chimed in, discreetly tucking a piece of broccoli under his napkin. 

“I like him too, Ope,” Andy chuckled, pretending to ignore the look Aunt Bee gave him. “I just want to make sure I’m makin’ the right decision.”

“I think Barney would make a fine deputy,” Bee smiled as she finished off her salad. “He’s very thorough.”

“That’s one way to describe Barney,” Andy mused.

“How would you ‘scribe him, pa?” Opie asked.

Andy sighed gently. “Oh… well, Barney’s mighty funny. Hard not to crack a smile when he’s around. He’s smart, too, though he don’t show it off too much. He’s…” Andy paused, staring at his empty plate as if he could find the answers in it. “He’s a good friend o’ mine, and he’s the most loyal man you’ll ever meet.”  _ And his laugh turns my legs to jelly. _

“Sounds swell!” Opie exclaimed, pushing his plate away. Andy barely heard him.

“Opie, why don’t you help me clear the table and get ready for dessert?” Bee asked sweetly. Opie silently obliged, darting up from the table at the prospect of apple pie.

As soon as the two disappeared into the kitchen, Andy finally let out the breath he had been holding in for the last minute or so. It felt like Bee was onto him, but he couldn’t possibly fathom a scenario where she knew and didn’t disown him.  _ But boy, am I givin’ her every reason to believe it. _ He couldn’t endure from her what he did from his old wife. It had already taken him this long to move past it.

So when Andy finally offered Barney the job, it felt like a led weight had been pulled out of his body. This one felt right. He had spent the previous night perfecting his collective act so he wouldn’t freeze up when Barney inevitably stammered and wrung his hands and had that look of fear on his face that just compelled Andy to take him in his arms and give him all his warmth. 

He was prepared for the way it would backfire on him, too -- the way Barney would talk and talk and talk and Andy would be so badly smitten that he could barely speak. There was a lot of that in their first week together as Sheriff and Deputy. 

“Listen Andy, all I’m saying is that we need to shape up! It’s now our sole responsibility to keep this town in check!”

Andy  _ was _ listening. Barney hadn’t stopped talking for three minutes now.

“I, uh.” He was fumbling around his front pocket for something, “I made this list, here, see, of ideas on how to improve our presence around town.” Barney handed the crumpled piece of paper over with a trembling hand. Andy gently took it.

“Hm,” was all he could muster as he scanned over the words scrawled on the page. 

“...you like ‘em?” Barney asked, voice small. Andy’s heart skipped a beat.

“Oh, yeah,” he cleared his throat when the words came out scratchy, “yeah. These are good, Barn.”

“You think so, huh?” Barney said, more confidently this time, with a smile in his voice. “Now, I’m particularly fond of this one.”

Andy stared at Barney’s finger hovering above an item on the list. “Mandatory… liquor checkpoints?”

“Yeah! We won’t be havin’ any drunkards stumblin’ around and ruinin’ the peaceful way of things around here.”

“I suppose we can look into it,” Andy smirked, with no intentions of ever looking into it. It was worth it to see the look on Barney’s face.

“We’d need to hire some volunteers to make it work, but…” Barney trailed off, deep in thought on how to execute every one of his ideas. Andy found himself admiring Barney’s handwriting. It looked like a teacher’s.

Barney’s first comedy of errors came not long after he presented his list. Not even Andy’s pining could get in the way of his paternal instinct for giving a stern lecture, especially when it involved Opie. It was hard to keep his composure, though, when Barney looked at him with those wide, shining eyes. 

_ Organizin’ the bulletin board? What kinda excuse is that? _ Andy tutted to himself as he and Barney went opposite ways.  _ He’s gonna see right through me _ . 

He hummed as he mindlessly rearranged thumb tacks, not even reading the faded notices that old Sheriff Miller had posted years ago. Until he recognized somebody.

Carl Edwards had won an award.  _ That overachieving bastard, of course he won an award _ . He had been named Raleigh Teacher of the Year, though it didn’t say when. 

Andy blinked a few times.  _ They’re using his high school yearbook picture _ .  _ I can’t believe he wore that silly bow tie.  _ The words under read:  **MAYBERRY HIGH ‘45 GRADUATE CARLTON EDWARDS AWARDED RALEIGH TEACHER OF THE YEAR. CONGRATS, CARL!** Andy groaned.  _ As if he would ever come back t’Mayberry to see this. Carl was pretty set on leavin’ as soon as he graduated _ . There was a painful crunching noise in Andy’s mouth; he was grinding his teeth.  _ Carl Edwards… _ he repeated the name in his head again.  _ Star runnin’ back, star teacher, and golly… he sure did have the nicest blond hair _ . 

Andy had known Carl since the year they were born. They grew up on the same street, just a few houses down from each other. They were part of a group known as the Maple Kids, who would all gather together at the same time after chores and homework were done. Andy and Carl started to become close when they played pee wee football together. Andy would throw the ball, and Carl would catch it. Somehow, this simple system was the envy of every youth team in the county. Nobody could seem to keep up with them. Carl and Andy would practice in Carl’s backyard, and when they were done they would go inside and eat cookies and drink milk together. Andy loved spending time with him. 

But then Carl got a girlfriend.

To Andy, it seemed as though Carl had a girlfriend every week, like he was holding tryouts. Andy was frustrated that he couldn’t seem to make the cut. But boys weren’t supposed to like other boys. Andy knew this. Carl was just a good friend of his -- a real good lookin’ friend who kept asking him when they could go out to take their girls for burgers and a coke. So Andy started finding girlfriends of his own. He didn’t mind talking to girls; he certainly never got as nervous as most boys his age did. They were fun to be around. The girls seemed to like how Andy talked to them like they were people and not objects.

Carl’s whole life was football. He wanted to be good enough to get a scholarship to a fancy school like UNC. Soon, Andy began to adopt this mindset. He and Carl would go on to be the best recruits UNC had ever seen. They would be Mayberry legends.

But Andy’s mother raised him to be more well-rounded than that. Andy liked volunteering around town, whether it be carrying groceries or mowing lawns. After football practice, he would sometimes stay behind and help put the equipment away.

That’s when he’d run into Barney.

He would be taking down the volleyball nets when Andy walked across the gym to get to the equipment room. A few times, the other maintenance crew members would leave Barney alone to finish the work, so Andy would drop the helmets he was carrying and help Barney disassemble. They would talk casually about all the things they didn't have time to get to in the hallway. Barney asked how practice was that day and how last week’s game had gone. After Andy was done gushing about UNC’s football program and his future plans, he would say Barney should come by and watch a game for himself sometime.

“Uh uh!” Barney would say emphatically. “I ain’t going to a football game.”

“Why not?” Andy would laugh. Barney was too embarrassed to admit that he had no idea how the game was played. Besides, he had other things to do.

After a while, Andy’s coach had told him that he didn’t need to be hauling equipment back and forth; “That’s no job for our star quarterback!” But Andy insisted. He told himself that his help made things go a lot quicker for the boys that had to do the cleanup.

“How was it today, Ange?”

Andy had no idea when or why Barney had taken to calling him Ange, but he didn’t stop him.

“Fine,” Andy shrugged, putting down the sweaty shoulder pads and reaching up to undo the net. “Big game’s this weekend. You should come.”

“Sorry Andy, I -- I don’t think I can,” Barney stammered. “Got, um, gotta help my folks with somethin’.”

Andy frowned. “You always say no.”

“Well, I -- it’s not really my scene, Andy, you know that! Besides, you got your other friends there. And Anita.”

“Anita is the cheerleading captain. Of course she’d be there,” Andy grumbled. 

“Exactly my point. You don’t need me there.”

Andy didn’t know what to say.

“Are you nervous?” Barney suddenly asked. Andy tilted his head. “For the big game, I mean.”

“Oh.” Andy bit his lip. “Well, I suppose I’m a little nervous. But it’s just a game.”

“Just a game?” Barney cried. “Andy, this is the biggest game of your life! Even I know that! This game could be your ticket outta here! It’s what you’ve been waiting for!”

Andy hummed. “I guess you’re right. Here, lemme get that.” He stood on his toes and stretched over Barney’s head to untie the other side of the net. 

“Do you… uhm…” Barney couldn’t seem to string his words together. “Well, gee, Ange, is that really what you want? Leavin’ town an’ all? You don’t seem too thrilled about it.” 

Andy paused as the net fell to the floor. “I… well, it’s always been my plan.”

“Will you take Anita with you?”

Andy was surprised. Why did he care so much? “Well, yeah. She wants to come. I’m gonna take her.”

“You gonna get married?”

“Barney, why are you askin’ me all this?” Andy snapped in frustration. He was glad the gym was empty. “I ain’t got the time. I gotta get on home.”

“I’m just lookin’ out for you!” Barney cried, his voice dripping with sorrow.

“Well, I don’t need you to,” Andy shot back, scooping up the football equipment. “I’ll see ya.”

Of course, that was the big game in which Andy had thrown the winning touchdown. Carl was a running back at that point, but the last play of the game was their special play. Andy threw the ball. Carl caught the ball. Mayberry won the game, and Andy got the girl.

But there was something missing. 

“TAYLOR!” 

Andy turned around. Carl was running at him full speed, his blond hair bouncing with his steps and a wide, shiny-toothed grin on his face. Andy’s heartbeat picked up as he reciprocated his smile and held out his arms. Carl leaped into him, smacking Andy’s helmet a few times before jumping back down.

“Taylor, what a pass! I can’t believe we won!”

“I can’t believe you caught that!” Andy yelled back.

“UNC can’t turn us down now!” Carl laughed. Andy opened his mouth to say something, but Carl quickly turned away at the sight of his current girlfriend running over to him. 

Andy sighed with a smile and admired the scene around him. Parents were clapping, students were cheering, and the players were all celebrating. Practically the entire town had shown up.

“Oh Andy, what a great game!” he heard a voice behind him. Andy excitedly turned around, but his eagerness gave way to a tired smile when he saw it was Anita running to him for a big hug.

“I just knew you could do it!” she cried, giving him a big kiss on the cheek. “You were wonderful out there!”

Andy took one last look at the crowd, laughed, and, knowing that all his teammates’ eyes were on him, pulled Anita in for a long, passionate kiss. The whooping and whistling from his teammates only encouraged him.

When Andy came back up for air, he was practically breathless. “We’re gonna get out of this place,” he promised. “Just you and me, okay?”

“Okay!” Anita laughed, her gaze softening. “Just you and me.”

A car horn blared outside. Andy blinked. He was back in the office. The Carl he was looking at now was just a fuzzy print-out stuck on a bulletin board.

He turned around. Barney’s face was still buried in the codebook. He sighed.

_ Just you and me. _


End file.
